And They Lived Smuttily Ever After...

Romance novels.

I don't understand them. I feel like once you've read one, you've read them all.

I will admit, I've never read one, but my boss is obsessed. She's probably read 100+ books in the last year that I've worked for her. And she loves to tell us about her "smutty" books. Sometimes she even reads to us, occasionally skipping paragraphs or pages and sometimes altering the profane language.

But really, I feel like all the stories are the same. The protagonist, who is always a woman, is either

a) an ordinary woman, average in every way
or
b) some rich, famous beauty who acts like a complete spoiled brat.

The man who enters the picture is almost always a very wealthy, powerful man who will sometimes keep his identity a secret from said woman protagonist.

Initially they meet and they loathe each other, though they're oddly attracted to each other. After playing the "I hate you game" for a bit they give up and usually end up in bed. They're blissfully happy for a time until he does something or a secret is revealed and then they go through an awful shouting break up, usually in public. But then after a period of time they realize they still "love" each other and find out it was just a big misunderstanding and/or over reaction and they can work through their problem. Then they end up getting hitched, or whatever people of the world are doing these days.

And that's how they all go. So predictable.

So why do people keep reading them when they know what's going to happen? Beats me.

I am quite an avid fan of children's literature. Not always so predictable, and most of the time pretty clean stuff. Look at Suzanne Collin's The Hunger Games trilogy, for example. Fantastic. They are very captivating books with an underlying romance story, but there is no ready made template being followed. I never knew what to expect and was always surprised. I laughed and cried and loved it, and never once was there anything smutty.

I love plot twists that you don't see coming. I've decided that I'm one of those people who loves surprises. Best birthday present I got this year? A cheese slicer from my grandparents because it's something that I've wanted forever but wasn't expecting one.

So, you want something very predictable and probably more than a little bit provocative? Go pick up a Nora Roberts, Susan Elizabeth Phillips, or Judith McNaught. I'll stick to the juvenile section though, thank you.