Today I had the funniest conversation with one of my students. We were out at recess and a couple of girls came up and asked me a question about what they should do about some girl drama. Anyways, that's not the funny part.
Somehow then we shifted into talking about boys. And Sally, we'll call her, admitted that she is "going out" with one of the boys from our class. Apparently he texts her all the time and was really upset when she didn't respond to him this morning because she's grounded from her phone. But that's still not the funny part. They then went on to tell me of two other interclass couples that I have. So my curiosity was piqued. What do they think they are accomplishing by "going out" with someone? Here is a paraphrasing of our dialogue:
Ms. G: So, tell me, what does it mean when you say that you're "going out" with someone?
Sally: Well, it means that we're dating!
Ms. G: So you go on dates?
Sally: NO! Hahaha
Ms. G: So you sit with each other at lunch?
Sally: No! *giggle*
Ms. G: So...you hang out at recess?
Sally: Haha nooo!
Ms. G: Then what does it mean?!
Sally: Well...sometimes we hug after school.
Ms. G: *nodding* Ok, I see. So I hugged a boy yesterday...does that mean he's my boyfriend?
Sally: Oh my gosh, noooo!!
I think the thing that I love most about this is that the unlogical logic of 6th graders hasn't changed one bit since I was one of them.
Monday, August 25, 2014
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
My Two Cents on Depression
Robin William's death is absolutely tragic and he will be missed by millions of people. I'll admit, I'm not usually one to comment about stuff like this, but this one hit close to home and has left me with lots of thoughts that I actually want to share.
I have a strong belief that there are two different kinds of depression. There's the kind that pretty much everyone deals with from time to time. Life gets tough, things aren't going well, you get discouraged and kind of sad. It sucks.
Then there's the other kind. The one where you don't know why you're unhappy. All you know is that there is a dark cloud over you that won't disappear, no matter how hard you try to outrun it. It follows you and rains on you and makes life more miserable than words can even begin to describe. I like to distinguish this kind of depression from the other by calling it clinical depression. I absolutely believe that it is due to a chemical imbalance in your brain. No matter how hard you fight it, sheer will power will not conquer this kind of depression.
I have suffered from both of these kinds of depression. While the first kind is not pleasant in any way, there is no way to describe the hell that is clinical depression. Nobody on this Earth could ever begin to understand what it's like unless they've experienced it themselves. And then I really think that it's completely different for each and every case. So there is nobody on this Earth that can ever fully understand another person's depression.
I could tell you about how awful it was for me; about how often and how long I would cry; about how I didn't even know why I was really upset; about how broken and helpless I felt; about how fatigued I always was; about how I had no interest in anything except for sleeping because it was an escape from this world. But even if I was able to describe it perfectly in words, you still would have absolutely no idea what it was actually like for me.
You can't judge anyone based on the fact that they've dealt with depression. There isn't anyone who you can "target" as being depressed. There isn't anything that makes someone especially more susceptible to depression than others (except maybe genetics). I was a missionary when I was clinically depressed. There has never been a time in my life when I was living closer to God than during that time, yet I was struck with this illness. It isn't that hard to hide either. You never know who is struggling with depression.
Thankfully my experience never escalated in severity enough to make me contemplate suicide. I never lost hope in there being something better sometime. I don't know if it was my faith or my personality or just what, but I can see how it could be completely different for others.
I was able to get out of the pit though because I sought help. I had Jo and Sara, two of the best companions and friends that I could have had at the time. I went to a counselor. I went to the doctor. I think it was a combination of medication and God's will that healed me, along with time and patience. I was lucky with how short of time I had to deal with it (although I know that doesn't mean I'll never have to deal with it again). Others have to fight it for longer. And it's harder. And it's not fair. And we have no idea what kinds of demons they are facing. I'm not saying that I condone suicide, but there's no way that we know what a person feels like they have to escape from. Because it can be pretty damn terrible and you don't even have a real reason why.
Long story short, I wish everyone would stop talking about depression like they're experts. Nobody knows anything about someone else's depression.
P.S. You can read more about my personal experience with depression here.
I have a strong belief that there are two different kinds of depression. There's the kind that pretty much everyone deals with from time to time. Life gets tough, things aren't going well, you get discouraged and kind of sad. It sucks.
Then there's the other kind. The one where you don't know why you're unhappy. All you know is that there is a dark cloud over you that won't disappear, no matter how hard you try to outrun it. It follows you and rains on you and makes life more miserable than words can even begin to describe. I like to distinguish this kind of depression from the other by calling it clinical depression. I absolutely believe that it is due to a chemical imbalance in your brain. No matter how hard you fight it, sheer will power will not conquer this kind of depression.
I have suffered from both of these kinds of depression. While the first kind is not pleasant in any way, there is no way to describe the hell that is clinical depression. Nobody on this Earth could ever begin to understand what it's like unless they've experienced it themselves. And then I really think that it's completely different for each and every case. So there is nobody on this Earth that can ever fully understand another person's depression.
I could tell you about how awful it was for me; about how often and how long I would cry; about how I didn't even know why I was really upset; about how broken and helpless I felt; about how fatigued I always was; about how I had no interest in anything except for sleeping because it was an escape from this world. But even if I was able to describe it perfectly in words, you still would have absolutely no idea what it was actually like for me.
You can't judge anyone based on the fact that they've dealt with depression. There isn't anyone who you can "target" as being depressed. There isn't anything that makes someone especially more susceptible to depression than others (except maybe genetics). I was a missionary when I was clinically depressed. There has never been a time in my life when I was living closer to God than during that time, yet I was struck with this illness. It isn't that hard to hide either. You never know who is struggling with depression.
Thankfully my experience never escalated in severity enough to make me contemplate suicide. I never lost hope in there being something better sometime. I don't know if it was my faith or my personality or just what, but I can see how it could be completely different for others.
I was able to get out of the pit though because I sought help. I had Jo and Sara, two of the best companions and friends that I could have had at the time. I went to a counselor. I went to the doctor. I think it was a combination of medication and God's will that healed me, along with time and patience. I was lucky with how short of time I had to deal with it (although I know that doesn't mean I'll never have to deal with it again). Others have to fight it for longer. And it's harder. And it's not fair. And we have no idea what kinds of demons they are facing. I'm not saying that I condone suicide, but there's no way that we know what a person feels like they have to escape from. Because it can be pretty damn terrible and you don't even have a real reason why.
Long story short, I wish everyone would stop talking about depression like they're experts. Nobody knows anything about someone else's depression.
P.S. You can read more about my personal experience with depression here.
Friday, August 1, 2014
TGIF
Seriously. There is nobody that says TGIF and means it more than a teacher. Especially a teacher who just finished the first week of school.
Let me tell you...it was a doozy. The highlight of my school days? The two days that some of my students from last year came to visit me. It warmed my heart.
Otherwise, it was a bit hellish. Hmm. Maybe I'm being dramatic.
But I will give you an illustration of how annoying I'm finding it to manage my new class. On Wednesday, after stopping for the nth time to wait for them to be quiet since they didn't seem to care that I was speaking, I had the thought that I needed to get a stop watch. I would wear this stop watch around my neck so I could easily keep track of all of my time that they wasted. In turn, I would then waste their time. Yesterday I was lenient and let them work off their time before recess, but today I made them sit at their desks with their heads down for 8 minutes during recess because that's how much time they wasted this morning. And they already owe me 3 minutes on Monday. I really hope that they catch on soon that I mean business.
In the meantime, I had a lovely night. For dinner I ate some Jalapeno Cheetos, some fruit snacks, and some old chocolate chip cookies. And watched 4 episodes of Castle. Oops. I've found my new binge show. I should probably go to the grocery store and get some real food though.
Let me tell you...it was a doozy. The highlight of my school days? The two days that some of my students from last year came to visit me. It warmed my heart.
Otherwise, it was a bit hellish. Hmm. Maybe I'm being dramatic.
Yes. Definitely being dramatic.
But I will give you an illustration of how annoying I'm finding it to manage my new class. On Wednesday, after stopping for the nth time to wait for them to be quiet since they didn't seem to care that I was speaking, I had the thought that I needed to get a stop watch. I would wear this stop watch around my neck so I could easily keep track of all of my time that they wasted. In turn, I would then waste their time. Yesterday I was lenient and let them work off their time before recess, but today I made them sit at their desks with their heads down for 8 minutes during recess because that's how much time they wasted this morning. And they already owe me 3 minutes on Monday. I really hope that they catch on soon that I mean business.
In the meantime, I had a lovely night. For dinner I ate some Jalapeno Cheetos, some fruit snacks, and some old chocolate chip cookies. And watched 4 episodes of Castle. Oops. I've found my new binge show. I should probably go to the grocery store and get some real food though.
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
A Lesson of Year 23
So, today was not the greatest day, let alone birthday. The first day of school for Ms. G was not very fun. I'll spare the details beyond saying I had 5 girls and 13 rambunctious boys today. Heaven help me figure out how to get a handle on them. Soon.
Despite the lameness that the majority of the day held, it ended up being pretty good. My awesome new roommate, Hailee, posted on the ward Facebook page that it was my birthday and invited anyone who felt so inclined to come get ice cream with us. I was a little skeptical as to whether anyone would come. I've briefly met lots of people, but don't really have any actual friends yet, you know? But there were a few of us that met up and went over and I was okay with just getting anyone to come...that's how pathetic my life has been the past year or so! But then...there's like a whole group of people waiting when we get there! I was so happy that I got to meet some new people and that some of the people I've gotten a bit acquainted with were there too. And there was ice cream. Which means it was good. Duh.
But, that wasn't the purpose of this entry. At one point, it was down to just a few of us left, and the conversation turned serious (after our semi-intense conversation about the Star Wars saga, of course). One of the guys turned to me and said, "So Stephanie, what is the life lesson you learned this past year of your life?" Wow, what a fantastically deep question! I responded with a laugh and said, "Well, where to even start?! It was a hard year and I learned a lot." I quickly racked my brain to decide what lesson was worthy to be shared, and I was quite pleased with the one that I came up with:
The love that I had for my students over my first year of teaching was incredible. I had this bunch of impressionable kids that were mine. I was in charge of them. I was responsible for what went into their heads, and also their hearts. And I came to love them so much and care so much for their well being and their future. And around the time that school got out for me in June I had this wonderful aha moment. I realized that I was getting just a glimpse of what the Savior's love for us feels like. He loves us so incredibly much and has done so much for us. More than we can even begin to imagine. And after all He has done, He just has to sit and watch us, hoping that we'll take advantage of His labors, but it's all up to us. But in the end, no matter what, He still loves us unconditionally and just hopes we'll make the right choices. And that's how I felt as a teacher. I had done so much for my kids, but in the end I just had to hope that they'd make the right choices. And that was an incredible thing that I learned this year.
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure that speech insured some future dates.
Despite the lameness that the majority of the day held, it ended up being pretty good. My awesome new roommate, Hailee, posted on the ward Facebook page that it was my birthday and invited anyone who felt so inclined to come get ice cream with us. I was a little skeptical as to whether anyone would come. I've briefly met lots of people, but don't really have any actual friends yet, you know? But there were a few of us that met up and went over and I was okay with just getting anyone to come...that's how pathetic my life has been the past year or so! But then...there's like a whole group of people waiting when we get there! I was so happy that I got to meet some new people and that some of the people I've gotten a bit acquainted with were there too. And there was ice cream. Which means it was good. Duh.
But, that wasn't the purpose of this entry. At one point, it was down to just a few of us left, and the conversation turned serious (after our semi-intense conversation about the Star Wars saga, of course). One of the guys turned to me and said, "So Stephanie, what is the life lesson you learned this past year of your life?" Wow, what a fantastically deep question! I responded with a laugh and said, "Well, where to even start?! It was a hard year and I learned a lot." I quickly racked my brain to decide what lesson was worthy to be shared, and I was quite pleased with the one that I came up with:
The love that I had for my students over my first year of teaching was incredible. I had this bunch of impressionable kids that were mine. I was in charge of them. I was responsible for what went into their heads, and also their hearts. And I came to love them so much and care so much for their well being and their future. And around the time that school got out for me in June I had this wonderful aha moment. I realized that I was getting just a glimpse of what the Savior's love for us feels like. He loves us so incredibly much and has done so much for us. More than we can even begin to imagine. And after all He has done, He just has to sit and watch us, hoping that we'll take advantage of His labors, but it's all up to us. But in the end, no matter what, He still loves us unconditionally and just hopes we'll make the right choices. And that's how I felt as a teacher. I had done so much for my kids, but in the end I just had to hope that they'd make the right choices. And that was an incredible thing that I learned this year.
Don't worry, I'm pretty sure that speech insured some future dates.
Sunday, July 27, 2014
Just Another Day
Tomorrow is the first day of school.
Actually, it doesn't really matter to me. It's just another day, right?
Well, not really. Because it's the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!
I keep bouncing back and forth between being really kind of excited and being a little nervous. I should really be more nervous, I think. It will probably kick in tonight when I'm going to bed, and I'll be super nervous. But, I think I just have a super good feeling about this year because it's not my first year anymore! I actually have a bit of a clue of what I'm doing. It's still going to be a lot of hard work, but I think I'll be better at managing my time and I do already have a lot of lessons from last year I can reuse.
I even already have a great adventure story that I can tell my kids. I went dumpster diving in the school dumpster. This past week, the sixth grade team had just been chucking anything we didn't want out into the hallway and we were going to decide what to do with it later. Well, during our lunch break one day, the custodian decided to just help us out and he cleared it all out to the dumpster. Which was totally fine and we were really grateful...until we realized that a pile of science poster activities we had just bought from the district media center had been in the hallway and were now gone. Whoops. Our bad. Thankfully the dumpster wasn't very full and it was all just boxes and posters. No smelly lunchroom trash. But as I'm sure you can figure out, I was the hero and saved the day by fishing our moon and solar system posters out of the dumpster. Yet another reason why working custodial for two and half years paid off later in life. No reservations whatsoever about just jumping in a dumpster. Now I should apply that principle to other aspects of my life. No fear, I'm just gonna jump right in! Ha...we'll see.
Tomorrow is also my birthday.
Happy birthday to me.
Actually, it doesn't really matter to me. It's just another day, right?
Well, not really. Because it's the FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!
I keep bouncing back and forth between being really kind of excited and being a little nervous. I should really be more nervous, I think. It will probably kick in tonight when I'm going to bed, and I'll be super nervous. But, I think I just have a super good feeling about this year because it's not my first year anymore! I actually have a bit of a clue of what I'm doing. It's still going to be a lot of hard work, but I think I'll be better at managing my time and I do already have a lot of lessons from last year I can reuse.
I even already have a great adventure story that I can tell my kids. I went dumpster diving in the school dumpster. This past week, the sixth grade team had just been chucking anything we didn't want out into the hallway and we were going to decide what to do with it later. Well, during our lunch break one day, the custodian decided to just help us out and he cleared it all out to the dumpster. Which was totally fine and we were really grateful...until we realized that a pile of science poster activities we had just bought from the district media center had been in the hallway and were now gone. Whoops. Our bad. Thankfully the dumpster wasn't very full and it was all just boxes and posters. No smelly lunchroom trash. But as I'm sure you can figure out, I was the hero and saved the day by fishing our moon and solar system posters out of the dumpster. Yet another reason why working custodial for two and half years paid off later in life. No reservations whatsoever about just jumping in a dumpster. Now I should apply that principle to other aspects of my life. No fear, I'm just gonna jump right in! Ha...we'll see.
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