Sometimes it's ok to cry

Sometimes things make you sad.
Sometimes things make you really sad.
Sometimes things still make you sad, no matter how ok you think you are.

And you know what? It's ok to cry.

The entire time I was in college, the number of times I cried can be counted on my two hands.
The first six months of my mission I cried once.

I had someone once tell me "Don't cry, just pray." I really took that to heart. I think I used it to justify my own lack of tears. "I don't have to cry. I shouldn't need to cry. I have God. He makes everything ok, so I don't have to cry."

In the past year, I've cried a hundred times. At least. I have no idea how to quantify the number of times that I've cried. But it has been the most of my life.

And you know what I realized this summer? It's ok to cry. In fact, sometimes you should cry.

Yeah, I know that I have the Savior and His Atonement to make things better, but that doesn't mean I can't cry.
That doesn't mean I'm weak if I cry.
That doesn't mean I'm foolish.
That doesn't mean that I'm vulnerable.
That doesn't mean that I can't be happy.
That doesn't mean that I'm inferior because I can't find other ways to express my emotions.
Damn it, sometimes I just need to cry.

Even if I'm pretending that I'm completely 100% alright. And sometimes I truly am. But sometimes it still hurts like hell. And the only thing I know to do to make it somewhat bearable (since I don't drink-ha) is cry. Sometimes a single tear. Sometimes a good, heart rending sob attack that you can only follow up with a hot mug of peppermint tea.

But you know what? I'm ok with crying.