"Someday My Prince Will Come...He's Just Lost..."

I've heard many girls say this. Admittedly I was one of them, back in my silly teenage years when I didn't understand how love worked.

But, why would I know how it really worked? I was basing all my love knowledge off what Disney had taught me since I was old enough to stare at a television screen. Those ideas were only validated through the years with other movies and books that I internalized.

A few weeks ago I watched The Little Mermaid. It's a classic, and I love it, but watching these kinds of movies makes me so frustrated at the message that they are sending to children, namely girls who will grow up thinking that love is something that it's not. When Ariel yells, "But Daddy, I love him!" I almost laughed out loud. You do not love him, you idiot girl. You think he's hot, and he seems like a nice person. You can say you have a crush on him. But love? No.

Think about it. Most Disney movies (honestly, most movies in general) have this skewed definition of the word "love." Aladdin and Jasmine are in "love" after one magic carpet ride. The Muses convince Meg to admit she's in love with Hercules after spending one great day with the hunky demigod. I could go on, but I'll spare you. It drives me crazy though that in these movies people think that they can get away with substituting the word infatuation with the word love.

These movies, and most books too, send completely the wrong message about what love is, and I think that because of that, society is kind of screwed up. It has messed with girls heads and because of that they act stupidly and make it harder for the boys and so then the boys are pansies and dating just sucks.

Here's a common scenario:

Girl bursts in the apartment and squeals. "John just asked me on a date!" Her girlfriends all squeal too and excitedly things are said like, "Oh, he must really like you!" "The two of you are such a cute couple!" "I knew he was in love with you!"

Whoa. Hold the phone. John isn't in love with her. They are not a couple. He doesn't even know if he really likes her. John just knew that this girl, who is a good friend, was fun to be with and he thought she was kinda cute and maybe he thought there was potential interest for something more than friendship, therefore he asked her on a casual date to see if perhaps their friendship could turn into something more.

Well, word gets back to John that these things are being said about him and this girl and he freaks out. He takes her on the date, but things are completely awkward and not as easy going as it should have been. He drops her off at the end of the night and never speaks to her again and never asks another girl on a date. He dies, alone and miserable.

Ok, maybe the last thing is a bit of an exaggeration. But the rest of it, totally legit.

Really though, girls seem to have this mindset, and it totally has ruined dating. Guys are totally scared to ask girls on dates because they think that it means they have to be committed to them. How utterly ridiculous!

I really think that this is the root of the dating problem here in Provo. Everybody thinks that a date=commitment.

Not true!

A date should be a fun time getting to know someone better to see if there is potential in a further relationship. Girls need to figure out how to get out of that mindset that when a boy asks her out that means that he really likes her.

I'll speak for most girls and admit that for some reason in our minds we do skip way ahead in the game. A boy asks you out and you're like, "Oh man, what if he's the one and we get married?" I think that I am making progress in getting out of this mindset, however. I at least know how ridiculous it is and try not to do it.

Boys can work on fixing the whole problem too: ask girls out! You know a girl who you think is cute and you enjoy hanging out with her. Take her on a date! And a date doesn't have to be some big, elaborate thing. Take her to get an ice cream cone. Walk to the park and have a picnic and play on the playground. It doesn't have to be six hours long and your wallet doesn't have to be $50 lighter. I think a casual date should be at most $10 or less, and only an hour or two. So, you can spend this little bit of one-on-one time with this girl and see if maybe you wanna be more than just friends. If not, no big deal. You're still friends and nothing has been lost.

The real problem in all this though? How the heck do we get people to change their mindset to more of this way of thinking? Especially when it has been ingrained in their mind that there's such a thing as love at first sight and that mere infatuation is actually deep, true love?

Beats me. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Going on a date would be a nice thing, at least once in a while.