"Memory is a way of holding on to the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose."

Up above my bed I have probably 40 some-odd pictures hanging on the wall. Some of these pictures are quite magical. Most of them are just ridiculous. But they're all snapshots of a short moment in time when I was unconditionally happy and it shows. Every single picture brings back memories and makes me smile, if not laugh. Crazy candids of the Harry Potter premiere, going through a carwash in the back of a pickup truck, dress up nights, whether that meant "going out on the town" kind of dressing up or "let's look like freaks" dressing up, being goofy with any and all of my dear best friends.

Looking at these pictures brings mixed feelings. Of course there's nostalgia. I can look at a picture and it immediately takes me back to Fall '09, Winter '11, Spring '10, Halloween any given year, etc. It makes me miss it. It makes me long to go back and relive it again. I would seriously go back and relive my entire college experience, even the bad, because of these wonderful moments and memories I have captured on my wall.

But surprisingly the nostalgia isn't as overwhelming as I would think it would be. At least not most of the time.

Usually as I look up at these pictures it's the stories that I remember that shaped my life and who I am today. It's because of these people that I've grown the way that I have into the person I am.

It's because of these times and these people that I am able to at any given moment throughout the day burst into random laughter because I remember something hilarious that was said or done. I know what joy and happiness feel like. I know that life can be wonderful and fun, even in the midst of the hard stuff. These pictures and stories weren't from a time in my life that was all fun and games and everything warm and fuzzy. There was crap. There was hard stuff. There were days that I thought I would die from exhaustion, whether physical, mental, emotional, or any combination of the three. But even when it was hard, there were still these good times that made life worth living.

So as my last thought I want to leave with you for 18 months:

Make sure you are enjoying life. 

Find those people and things that make you unconditionally happy. Make memories. Look back at them with fondness, but not longing. And mostly, look forward to the new wonderful moments that your future holds.

Dating Blogs...Over Rated or Truly Helpful?

The other night after I got done with my round of reading all the blogs I follow, I had an interesting thought. Not really a new thought, but one that I hadn't thought super hard about before.

We over-complicate dating. How? By trying to give too much advice.

I've always thought dating was much more complicated than it should be. Especially being out at BYU and seeing how screwed up the dating scene is. I'm convinced that it's about the same 25% of the population that is going on dates all the time. (I get that number from my experience sophomore year...any given weekend it was the one same roommate out of the four of us who was on a date...usually with a different boy every time.) I won't get into any logistics of why I think that is, but rather I will tell you what I think dating should be.

Dating should be a guy seeing a girl--a friend, acquaintance, or perhaps even a stranger--and thinking, "Hmm she's attractive and I think I would enjoy spending time with her," and then asking her on a date. The girl should be flattered that a guy is interested enough to invest an hour or two and perhaps even a little bit of moolah and go out with him having an optimistic attitude of having an enjoyable time, whether she's likewise interested in the guy or not. After the date, each can individually evaluate how they thought it went and perhaps think about future intentions and let it either progress from there or be done and call it a nice time with a friend.

But, this is obviously not how it is in real life, and there's not really any way to get people to start seeing dating in such a way. Oh how I wish there was a way to uncomplicate it though.

For the past several months I have been following the Anti-Austen Blog. At first I loved it. I was addicted. I was enchanted. I thought these girls were geniuses and amazing.

And then I don't know if I just really opened my eyes or if the quality of their blogging declined or what, but I became a bit disenchanted. I don't mean to dis on them at all. I still read their blog and I enjoy it and they do have good insights sometimes, but I'm just saying I'm not an adoring fan like I once would have claimed to be.

The thing that really triggered my thinking on this subject today was that on their past couple of posts, the Anti-Austens linked to a couple other blogs: Dudes Discussing Dating and The Brothers' Guide to Guys. Of these three blogs I have mentioned, I think that the most useful would be The Brothers' Guide. It's brand new so there's only a handful of posts, but so far they seem pretty clean cut and to the point. And actual helpful tips and lessons. For example, they have already touched on lessons such as door step scenes, post-date texts, and a very basic overview of the "four flirty senses." But even so...I think that with all of this "Dating Help" we are in fact doing the exact opposite of their intention and we're complicating it.

It makes people, males and females both, over think and try to analyze everything, which just drives everyone crazy. And I think that all of this advice bouncing around just makes it worse. People are either generalizing when they make all of their suggestions, or they are specific to what they think or like. Well, let me tell you something...everyone thinks and feels differently about most things, and especially about dating and relationships. Each person has their own lists of likes and dislikes, and making all of these suggestions and do's and don'ts just doesn't always help everyone in the end. For example...I have learned through experience that baking isn't an automatic free pass into a man's heart. All of those times in Relief Society where they told us all you had to do was give a guy baked goods to spark interest....lies.

But, despite knowing that these things don't always work, does that make anyone less interested in reading all of these dating and relationship blogs and advice columns? Nope. Sure doesn't. It does make me grateful for my 18 month hiatus that I'm about to take from the dating game though. And upon my return...we'll see if I'll have to study up to start playing these games again. I'm kinda banking on not.....

"So turn it on, turn it up, and sing along..."

Since I've been home, I've been listening almost nonstop to country music. Ok, that's a little bit of an exaggeration. I've listened to lots of other music too, but everytime I turn on the radio, it's country. And for some reason it's usually CMT that draws my attention on the rare occasion I'm craving music videos.

But I've been trying to figure out exactly what the draw of it is. Why do I keep going back to country? Even after my note-to-self to stop listening to it about a month ago, I just can't let it go.

I've decided it's because country is more real than a lot of other music. The songs tell real stories about real emotions. You listen to a song and you can connect with the singer. You feel like you're there with them going through whatever they're going through, happy or sad. You can feel what they're feeling. And I think that's something that I have to have. I've always known that's how I judge whether I like a book or a movie, so that makes sense that I feel that way about music too.

I don't know, maybe I'm crazy. I'm not saying that other music isn't any good. There's tons of other music out there that's quality stuff that I love too. But I just feel like country is less likely to let me down.

Part of it might be a little tiny piece of me trying to find my Southern heritage. While I wasn't born in Georgia, we moved here when I was two and this is all I knew until I moved to Provo at age 18. And there's something about the South that makes you proud to call it home. Maybe anywhere can do that to you, but nowhere else can do it with fried chicken, boiled peanuts, and red Georgia clay. So maybe listening to and loving country music helps me feel connected with the place I grew up.

And I think I would feel this way even if dancing had never been involved with this genre of music. But who's to say that cha-cha-ing by myself in the kitchen when a fantastic song comes on the radio doesn't make the song that much better?

Maybe the reason I adore country so much is because of the gems like this that it produces:

Newest song on my wedding playlist?

Yes please.

(The recorded version is better.)

Anyways, I guess my purpose today is just to make sure you know about my undying love for country music. I am not ashamed. And I will now leave you with words from one of my favorites, Brad Paisley, who says what I was trying to say, but much simpler, and I echo his sentiments:

"So turn it on, turn it up, and sing along.

This is real, this is your life in a song.

Yeah, this is country music."

Oh My Gosh.

I think that I just barely, like seconds ago from this moment, decided that I might be alright getting married here:

I have never had the desire to get married in Salt Lake. I always felt like it would be "too cliche." It seems like most girls want to get married there, and non-conformist Stephanie didn't want to just be one with the crowd.

But in the current event of me not having a life to occupy my thoughts, I think about my future more than is healthy and I pretty much have planned most of my wedding. (Yes, I am ashamed to admit to this fact. Yes, you may call me a hypocrite. But I think that it will be time well spent when I can plan a wedding in no time with a record low amount of stress. Haha. Yes, I realize that everything I'm saying is utterly ridiculous.)

Anyways...one of the details that I definitely cannot pin down until I have some more concrete details established (you know, like who the groom is gonna be for sure because I still haven't gotten a response  to my proposal from William Moseley) is the where. I have no strong attachment to Atlanta. The only people that would really benefit would be my parents and a very very select few friends. Unless I marry someone from here...but that won't be the case if I have anything to do with choosing who I marry. Oh man my ADD is showing tonight. I always said, "It'll just depend where he is from and what would be most convenient for his family." But Salt Lake was never an option. I was even just playing around with the idea of another temple in the Salt Lake/Utah Valley area...Mount Timpanogos? Draper?

And then...what is wrong with Salt Lake?

Eh. Whatever. I've still got a while to smash out all of these wedding details. I'm sure that when I get home in 18 months my wedding will have changed dramatically from what it is right now. Plus there are probably some more vital things to worry about first since William isn't seeming like a very viable prospect at the moment.

"Singing Myself to Sleep..."

There are three songs I am currently addicted to at the moment. And now this is where I share them with you.

I fell in love with this one the second I heard it. I never was particularly on the Jason Mraz train like a lot of my friends, but I think this one is quite magical.

This one has some pretty cute lines in it. Not their best, but it's catchy and He is We never seems to fail me.

And this one...probably my favorite. It's a fantastic one to sing along to. I think I'm gonna check out more of Christina Perri's stuff.

p.s. what's up with all of these "official lyric videos" all of a sudden?